Only In Dreams
feeling all sad and lonely now. as i have been for most of 2005. was pretty much a crappy year. feel like i've lost everything this year. and i wonder how much of it is my fault. i know i have to take some of the blame.
do you believe in retribution? i do.
is this God's punishment for me? probably.
i wish the world could just stop for awhile.. wait for me to catch up. cause i'm feeling real sore about being left behind. just realised that the past has been holding me back. while everyone around me has been quick to move on, here i am still stuck in a time and place which no longer exists.
i had a wonderful dream the other night (actually it was the morning of the new year). i felt a sense of peace, comfort, and immense happiness that i haven't felt in ages in that dream which i pray will recur. i was all shook up when i woke. probably upset that it wasn't real and disappointed that it was over. i can't even remember the face of that boy. when you dream of someone you don't know, does that person exist in the real world? maybe it's someone i caught a glimpse of walking down the street? my mind is not capable of creating faces... is it? two of my friends were in my dreams. i was close to them once, but i feel that i've lost them now. another friend which i didn't wanna see was there too. but moving on. i wish i could meet him... that boy from my dream. wonder if i'd recognize him if i did. i think i would. and i think he would recognize me too. cause we were so close... so close. we had a connection. and it felt so real.
i think it is time for me to break the shackles that the past has put on me and run free from it. i will probably get a few scrapes in the process. but it must be done. i must create a new life for myself, because the others have clearly moved on. behind is not a very nice place to be in. especially not when you're alone.
the question is, how do i break those damned shackles?
do you believe in retribution? i do.
is this God's punishment for me? probably.
i wish the world could just stop for awhile.. wait for me to catch up. cause i'm feeling real sore about being left behind. just realised that the past has been holding me back. while everyone around me has been quick to move on, here i am still stuck in a time and place which no longer exists.
i had a wonderful dream the other night (actually it was the morning of the new year). i felt a sense of peace, comfort, and immense happiness that i haven't felt in ages in that dream which i pray will recur. i was all shook up when i woke. probably upset that it wasn't real and disappointed that it was over. i can't even remember the face of that boy. when you dream of someone you don't know, does that person exist in the real world? maybe it's someone i caught a glimpse of walking down the street? my mind is not capable of creating faces... is it? two of my friends were in my dreams. i was close to them once, but i feel that i've lost them now. another friend which i didn't wanna see was there too. but moving on. i wish i could meet him... that boy from my dream. wonder if i'd recognize him if i did. i think i would. and i think he would recognize me too. cause we were so close... so close. we had a connection. and it felt so real.
i think it is time for me to break the shackles that the past has put on me and run free from it. i will probably get a few scrapes in the process. but it must be done. i must create a new life for myself, because the others have clearly moved on. behind is not a very nice place to be in. especially not when you're alone.
the question is, how do i break those damned shackles?
posted by Me at 10:33 AM
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